OnlyTheyKnow.com… Maybe It’s Better That Way

ABC is spending a good deal of air time promoting its new series, “The Nine.” Critics say it’s one of the best new series of the fall, ranking with “Lost” and “24″ in terms of excitement and suspense. Unfortunately, its online campaign is more in the neighborhood of “My Mother the Car” and “Manimal.”ABC breathlessly teases viewers to go to OnlyTheyKnow.com for a taste of what’s to come. On the surface it’s an engaging way to build interest for a series that hasn’t yet aired. That’s the theory. In practice, it’s like stoking a fire with a bucket of ice water.Visitors to the site are greeted by a slideshow open that looks like it was made in HyperCard circa 1990: stereotypical TV shape filled with static, white noise under, ominous lettering asking the same questions we’ve seen on billboards, “Who are the nine hostages?” Unfortunately, that’s the good part. The slideshow parts to reveal a three-by-three grid of the nine main characters that is supposed to look like security camera footage. In perfectly composed eye-level, two-shots, of course. Click on one of the characters and all you get is a chopped and repurposed clip from the network’s show promos. The definition of the digital dead end.On a scale of one to ten, ABC gets a 9.5 for its enigmatic and often brilliant Hanso Corporation fake ads that aired in “Lost” last season. (Here’s hoping they return this year.) But for this misguided attempt, maybe “The Nine” should be renamed “The Two.”See for yourself.